I’m a wreck
Friday, I made my decision to send my beloved Quizz over the rainbow bridge. The rectal mass had become hugely enlarged and was causing him considerable pain. It was becoming impossible for him to have a bowel movement. Colostomy bags are not something that can be used with a dog. The vet and I had a detailed discussion, the surgery option was risky due to the location and all the vital nerves and blood vessels in the region. It had no guarantee of making his life better and greater potential to making his life considerably worse. It became a question of quality of life versus quantity. If I could have fixed it, I would have given everything I had to do so.
Doing the right thing has never felt so bad.
Oh, and the hot water heater gasped out its last hot shower on Sunday morning. I do not approve of cold showers. Thank goodness it’s summer and I won’t die of consumption due to the cold.
I’ve decided every time I put forth goals, God laughs and asks me how badly do I want it?
At the moment, I’m not prepared to answer Him. The want isn’t in question, because I will hit my end goals. I’m just a little hollowed out with the events and need time to heal.
Wait for me (Leila Gaskin)
How do I say good bye when I’m not ready but it’s the right thing to do?
How do I make sure ‘I love you’ isn’t just an epitaph?
How do I know I’m being kind, not selfish?
How do I know my faith in more than this life is truly real?
How do I not succumb to the pain when I see that empty space?
How will I say ‘I love you’ again?
I won’t say goodbye, I can’t.
I’ll simply say ‘wait for me on the other side’
It’s the best I can do.
Quizz – 2004-2013 – He was a Very Good Dog who was Loved. He was my friend and my companion.