When it rains, it pours
When will I learn?
In my experience, goals and deadlines are challenges to the universe to see how much I can handle without running in gibbering madness for a cave.
I’m finalizing edits for Hot Flashes. Getting my promo plan in place. Working full-time and other assorted grown-up things. And keeping my poochie, Quizz, loved and in a good place.
Let me tell you a little about my Quizz. He is a pit bull-something mix (rumor has it poodle might be in the mix, but I’m too cheap for the DNA test). The shelter I adopted him from were very careful to avoid the truth in two areas – his age and his breed. They said 6 months, his puppy teeth said 3 months (Puppy teething is not fun, those teeth are sharp!). All the paperwork very carefully said a terrier mix. The breed issues never crossed my mind until my mother shrieked ‘You brought home a pit bull!’, she’s mellowed since then. In the end, neither point was an issue as it was love at first sight for the both of us. It’s been nine years since that fateful day in October when we came into each other’s lives. We are both older, wiser, and, some mornings, creakier.
I am a family first person. My dog is my family.
At the beginning of the year he had several mast cell tumors removed. At the time, the margins seemed to be clear. He’d been having persistent issues with his rear end. Come to find out he has a mass in his rectum (sorry for the detail). Anti-inflammatories barely had any impact. He goes to the vet this week and I’ll be making some informed decisions. I don’t know what my options are, but I have no doubt they will be expensive as hell. I’ll be sending up prayers to the heavens for things to be less dire than I fear (or drop a couple thousand of tax-free dollars into my eager grateful hands).
Where does all this leave me? On the cusp of a waterfall paddling desperately for the closest rock to cling too until I can finish figuring out how my insane life can become solidly anchored on the shore line.
In the end, I know I’ll hit my deadlines, I may be sacrificing vast quantities of dark chocolate to that goal and I’m okay with that. The rest? I can not control what the universe hands me. I can only do my best to cope. I’ve experienced pain and joy, and been peppered everything in between. I’m a small creature in a huge universe. My goal is to carry on and do my best to not end up on the bottom of a giant’s shoe.